Zen Grouch

As the name suggests, I’m a contemplative person, who once upon a time practiced a form of meditation, whose founder promised (for a price) to teach his followers how to physically travel through space at the speed of thought…
…yet for some odd reason, traveled everywhere by plane or car himself.

I studied yoga to learn how to become one with my body and mind.

During one cross country hitchhiking trip, I spent about a week in a house full of toga waring idiots who gave up all of their Earthly belongings to stay there and worship some kid who was about 13.  It was their goal to bless him, with a Rolls Royce for every day of the year.  Oddly enough, I didn’t fit in there and the two prison guards in charge of the place let me know I was no longer welcome there.

I later studied karate to strengthen that connection between body and mind… from an instructor who spoke with a phony Japanese accent.  This great “Sensi” later showed himself to be one of those miserable little pricks that goes through life hating tall people, because of all of his childhood ass kickings.  Along with his fake accent, this short fuck would tell stories of his exploits in Japan, even though he’d never actually been there!

Ahhh yes, I’m one contemplative motherfucker.

Sure, I try to convince myself that the douche bags who don’t know how to drive, yet call ME the “ass hole” as they’re flipping me off, are just forces of nature that can’t be controlled and should accepted for what they are…

Yeah, great!  That works for about 5 seconds before I’m driving like a maniac just so I can get a look at their miserable face, for some sort of demented satisfaction and closure that never comes!

Umm, sorry about that, I got a little off track, but you get the picture.  I’m a prick, but I’m a contemplative prick who’s somewhat self aware.

So… whatta ya’ gonna do, when people for the most part suck off road kill.  I mean, look at what these dumb fucks voted into the office of president for the past 8 god damned years?!

Anyway, I think it all boils down to:

*if you aren’t raging…
…you really aren’t paying attention*

If you’d like to contact the Zen Grouch you can send your e-mail to:
admin@’this web site’s address’